Finding comfort in the chaos
arts
Have you ever felt like everything was great, you're feeling fully present in your life, you can hear the birds sing when you walk outside on a sunny day and you can see the path ahead of you? And then you wonder - is this too good to be true?
Well, I was at that point this month, life felt good. I've been taking care of myself more than I ever have in my life and truly living for myself - absorbing myself in my own life and what brings me joy. Everything was good, great even.
Then I got evicted from my home of over 2 and a half years. And suddenly everything felt uncertain.
I love it here. I love where I live, the people I live with have become my family and it truly feels like home. But the universe obviously thought I was getting too comfortable and wanted to shake things up for me.
Ok universe, thank you. Challenge accepted.
From what we know about the chakras, you'll recall the root chakra being the starting point which we build from, your home represents your root, your foundation to build up from. If your foundation wobbles, you wobble. It forces you to shake up your life and discover new ground to call home.
This isn't the first time I've felt uncertain about where I'm going to live. When I broke off the engagement all those years ago, overnight I went from living in a beautiful home I'd created to being kicked out and scrabbling to find a friend's sofa to sleep on.
This time is very different, but there's some resonance within my body that feels both familiar and unwanted. Comfortable and uncomfortable.
With the chaos that ensued, it reminded me that even with all the practices I do to support myself - I can still wobble, and that's ok, I'm human. But what I have noticed is this, it's not that when you do all this work you don't have wobbles or moments that challenge you - it just means your “bounce-back” is quicker. You can recalibrate quicker, it doesn't feel like a tornado has come into your life and left it for dust, this time it feels more like a light breeze that makes a gentle whoosh sound as the wind catches the leaves. You notice its there, appreciate it almost, but then move on.
My intention for this year was discomfort and halfway through the year - it is showing its truth and reminding me that we need to feel discomfort to grow. It is only when we are challenged that we grow. Only then are forced to think creatively and find new solutions, that we may not think of, or even needed before.
This move has made me question every part of my life - where I want to live, who I want to spend my home life with, and how I want my business to grow to support a new environment or circumstances. I don't have all the answers yet, but I'm grateful for the questions.
“When we live in dharma, all action becomes frictionless.”
What I'm listening to this month..
My monthly playlist for June << Listen here
Follow along as the playlist grows each day as I get inspired by the music I hear in the cafe when I'm having my morning coffee, or on a film I've been watching or a gem hidden in a Spotify radio.
I've been making a monthly playlist since 2017, they are now like time capsules that take me back to certain moments in my life, I'd recommend making your own!
this month’s affirmations…
IT'S OK TO SIMPLIFY
When something shakes life up, like a house move, the end of a relationship, or a new job - simplify.
Focus on what is necessary, and what isn't. (This doesn't just need to apply to these moments either…)
Last thoughts…
NOTHING IS PERSONAL
We make everything personal, don't we…
Why did this happen to me?
Why am I like this?
What did I do wrong?
Nothing is personal. Everything, absolutely everything in life is impersonal. Does the very thought of that, make you question something personally? But what about this that happened to ME? Don't tell ME that wasn't personal to ME!!?
When you take something (or everything) personally, you are at your most powerless. It's like saying “I would be more powerful, but this happened to me” - you end up living in the reasons and excuses for what is happening to you at this moment rather than in your power.
So ask yourself, what would it feel like if this wasn't about me?